TALES FROM THE BATCAVE

Just found this saved as a draft…

I found this post I wrote when I was still in my old band, and for some reason never posted it. I am a rather astute person.

“I think its becoming more and more apparent to me that success with my music may be entirely unattainable. This is a thought that has entered my mind for multiple reasons, and I’m not trying to beat myself up, but rather just contemplate the idea.

I think of all the work I’ve put in to my band, especially, and try to take a look at where we are and it seems almost counter productive. 4 and a half years later and we’re still not much more than that band with the weird name.

Part of me is totally bummed out by this thought, really. Understandable, right? This part of my life that I’ve poured so much of my efforts into really has nothing much to show for it. I’m not saying I regret anything, by any means. I think so far its been an important ride, and I’ve met some of the best people, made awesome friends, and had incredible experiences. But I’ve been forced to think: what if we never get off the ground? What if our music takes us nowhere? And I am actually thinking that that’s just fine. Sure I want the experience of touring the world with my friends, playing our music for crowds of people, and have had plenty of dreams of doing so. But I think I’ve come to terms with myself, in knowing that if it doesn’t happen, I will still be more than happy.

This whole independent music business is exhausting shit. Every day, you hear about ten more bands who seem to come out of nowhere, and get to do the things that you so dearly think you deserve. There is constantly something that you know you need to do better, and when you want to improve on it, theres always something keeping you from it, whether it’s money, the will of your other band members, or just the fact that people don’t give a shit about your music or what it is that you have to say.

I don’t know what I’m gonna be doing as far as my musical endeavors in a year from now, but no matter what happens with this band, you can be sure that I’m never going to forget it.”